Why Do SEN Professionals Keep Contradicting Each Other?
If you are parenting a child with special educational needs (SEN), you may feel like you are constantly being told different things by different professionals.
One person says “your child is doing fine.”
Another says “they need urgent support.”
School says one thing. Health says another.
And you’re left wondering: who is right?
Many parents assume that one professional must be correct and the others must be wrong. But in most cases, that isn’t what’s happening at all.
The truth is more uncomfortable — and more important to understand.
The real reason SEN advice conflicts
SEN professionals are not working within one joined-up system.
They are working across education, health, and social care — systems that:
have different priorities
use different criteria
collect different evidence
and are not designed to align smoothly
So when advice conflicts, it is usually not about your child — it is about the system.
Different professionals answer different questions
Each professional you meet is answering a different question, even if it doesn’t sound that way.
A teacher may be asking:
“Can this child manage in my classroom right now?”
They focus on:
behaviour in school
academic progress
comparison with peers
classroom impact
If your child is coping enough in that setting, the teacher may genuinely believe support is not needed.
A health professional may be asking:
“Does this child meet diagnostic or clinical thresholds?”
They focus on:
observable traits
test results
medical criteria
developmental norms
They may recognise a condition but still say it doesn’t automatically require educational support.
A SENCO may be asking:
“What can the school reasonably provide with current resources?”
They focus on:
staffing
funding
school policies
legal obligations
This can lead to very careful language that feels dismissive to parents.
None of these professionals are necessarily lying — but none of them are seeing the whole picture.
Thresholds are not the same as needs
One of the biggest sources of confusion in SEND support is thresholds.
A child can have needs without meeting a diagnostic threshold
A child can meet a diagnostic threshold without qualifying for educational support
A child can struggle daily but still be told they are “not severe enough”
This is why parents often hear:
“They’re not bad enough”
“They’re coping”
“Let’s wait and see”
These statements are not value judgements — they are system gatekeeping language.
SEN systems are reactive, not preventative
Most SEN systems only respond once a child is:
visibly failing
significantly distressed
or impacting others
That means:
early signs are minimised
masking is misunderstood
quiet children are overlooked
So one professional may spot early needs, while another insists there is “no problem yet.”
Both are responding to a system that waits for crisis.
Why reports often contradict each other
Parents are often confused by reports that say very different things.
This happens because:
reports are written for different audiences
language is softened to avoid legal responsibility
recommendations are shaped by what services can offer — not what the child needs
A report might describe difficulties but stop short of naming them clearly.
Or it may acknowledge needs without recommending support.
This isn’t accidental. It is how overstretched systems protect themselves.
What parents should take from conflicting advice
When professionals disagree, parents often doubt themselves.
But this is what actually matters:
1. Patterns matter more than opinions
One comment means little. Repeated concerns across settings matter a lot.
2. Impact matters more than labels
How your child functions day-to-day is more important than any diagnosis.
3. You are the only constant
Professionals rotate. Reports change.
You are the one who sees the full picture over time.
Your insight is not emotional bias — it is longitudinal evidence.
How to interpret SEN advice more clearly
Instead of asking “who is right?”, try asking:
What system is this person working within?
What are they responsible for — and what are they not?
What would this advice look like if resources were unlimited?
This reframes contradictory advice as partial truths, not total answers.
Questions that help you clarify SEN professional recommendations
When disagreement is a red flag
Conflicting advice becomes a problem when:
your child’s distress is increasing
school avoidance appears
behaviour changes at home
anxiety or shutdowns escalate
At that point, disagreement is not neutral — it is delaying support.
You are not failing — the system is fragmented
Parents often blame themselves for feeling confused or overwhelmed.
But the SEN system was not built to feel clear.
It was built in pieces, under pressure, with limited funding.
Your confusion is a rational response to a fragmented system.
Final thought
When SEN professionals contradict each other, it doesn’t mean:
you’re imagining things
your child isn’t struggling
or no one will ever help
It means you are navigating a system that doesn’t speak with one voice.
Understanding that doesn’t fix the system — but it does give you power.
And power starts with clarity.