Positive Behaviour Support
Children with ADHD are often misunderstood as “misbehaving” when in reality, they are responding to an environment that doesn’t meet their neurodevelopmental needs. Traditional discipline approaches — especially those based on punishment — are often ineffective and can harm self-esteem. This module introduces a strengths-based, proactive approach known as Positive Behaviour Support (PBS). It focuses on encouragement, motivation, and teaching new skills rather than controlling behaviour.
Learning Objectives
By the end of this module, you will be able to:
- Understand why children with ADHD respond better to encouragement than punishment
- Identify what intrinsically and extrinsically motivates your child
- Apply positive reinforcement strategies to shape desirable behaviours
- Create a home environment that promotes cooperation and reduces power struggles
- Respond to challenging behaviour in a way that builds connection, not conflict
The Science Behind Positive Behaviour Support
Why punishment doesn’t work (especially for ADHD): ADHD affects impulse control, emotional regulation, and memory, so traditional consequences like delayed punishment often don’t teach anything meaningful. Children may repeat behaviours not because they are defiant, but because they struggle with impulse control, forgetfulness, or sensory overload. In many cases, punishment can escalate shame, anxiety, and oppositional behaviour. Why positive support works better: ADHD brains respond well to immediate feedback, rewards, and praise. Behaviour is a form of communication, and children often act out because they can’t yet ask for what they need. Reinforcing what’s going well increases the likelihood of that behaviour happening again.
Encouragement Over Punishment
Encouragement tools that work: Specific praise helps reinforce positive behaviour, for example, saying, “You put your shoes on after just one reminder — that was responsible!” Visual reward systems such as charts, tokens, or points can track effort rather than perfection, motivating children without pressure. Immediate positive feedback like a thumbs-up, high-five, or short note goes a long way in building confidence. It’s also helpful to catch them being good by acknowledging even small efforts or “almost” successes. Avoiding common punishment pitfalls: It’s important to avoid power struggles by staying calm, offering choices, and steering clear of ultimatums. Attention should not be used as a reward for misbehaviour; instead, redirect the child and then praise positive behaviour when it occurs. Finally, skip harsh consequences and focus on teaching skills — for example, saying, “Let’s try that again with a calmer voice.”
Discovering What Motivates Your Child
Every child is different. ADHD brains are wired for novelty and reward, so tapping into your child’s personal motivators can help build consistent positive behaviour. To identify motivators, start by observing what lights them up. Consider whether it is time with a parent, earning screen time, receiving praise, or feeling a sense of mastery. Next, ask your child directly and involve them in designing rewards by asking questions like, “Would you rather earn a sticker or extra LEGO time?” You can also try a motivation inventory by using a simple list of possible motivators, such as social, sensory, activity-based, or tangible rewards. Finally, keep it flexible, because what motivates a child one week may change the next, so be sure to keep updating the system as needed.
Reinforcing Positive Behaviour
Building consistency and routines: It helps to reinforce positive behaviour immediately rather than waiting until later in the day. You can combine praise with tangible rewards at first and then gradually fade to intrinsic motivation over time. Using “First-Then” language, such as saying, “First brush your teeth, then we’ll read your favourite book,” can make expectations clearer and more manageable. Remember to celebrate progress rather than striving for perfection. Handling setbacks: When slip-ups happen, avoid punishment and instead reframe them as learning moments. Stay curious by asking, “What made that hard today?” rather than “Why didn’t you listen?” Finally, model self-regulation yourself when things don’t go as planned so children can learn by example.