Autism • Working with school
Talking to schools about autism
Explain your concerns, ask useful questions and leave the conversation with clearer next steps for your child.
Whether you are noticing difficulties, waiting for assessment or sharing a diagnosis, you can start a conversation about the support your child needs now.
You can raise concerns now
When should you speak to school?
Start when you notice a pattern affecting learning, routines, relationships or wellbeing. You do not need to wait for a diagnosis.
You may be concerned about communication, sensory experiences, social situations, learning or managing transitions. Describe what is happening and its impact without needing to decide the cause yourself.
Who to contact first
Begin with the class teacher or your child’s usual school contact. Ask to involve the special educational needs co-ordinator (SENCO) where additional support needs discussing.
In secondary school, a form tutor or head of year may also help co-ordinate the conversation.
Ask for time to talk
A planned meeting gives everyone time to prepare. Briefly explain your concerns, what you hope to discuss and any access or communication arrangements you need.
Ask who will attend and share key information beforehand.
The SEN support and EHCP framework described here applies to England. Education systems and terminology differ elsewhere in the UK.
Make the discussion manageable
Prepare a short picture of your child
Choose your main concerns
Pick two or three priorities. Explain when difficulties occur, how often you notice them and the effect on your child.
Bring relevant information
Gather useful school feedback, existing plans and any relevant assessment recommendations. Note support already tried and what happened.
Include your child’s voice
Ask what feels difficult, what helps and what they would like adults to understand. Include strengths and interests too.
A way to open the conversation
“I would like us to understand what is making school difficult for my child. At home we are noticing distress around unexpected changes and busy environments. What are you seeing, and what support could we agree and review?”
Adapt this to your own experience and keep examples accurate.
Useful meeting questions
Move from concerns to a practical plan
Understand the school picture
- What are you noticing in lessons and at less structured times?
- Which tasks or situations are hardest?
- What does my child manage well, and what helps?
- What support is already happening?
Agree support and review
- What changes will address the main difficulties?
- Who will provide them, and when?
- How will relevant staff know what has been agreed?
- How will we check whether support is helping?
- When will we meet or communicate again?
What school may do next
Support can begin while needs are explored
School may gather observations, adapt teaching, introduce targeted help or review SEN support. Agree how these steps will address your child’s difficulties.
Clearer instructions
Discuss direct language, visual information where helpful and time to process instructions.
A more comfortable environment
Explore noise, lighting, busy spaces and preparation for transitions.
Organisation and confidence
Consider checklists, planned check-ins and a trusted adult to approach for help.
After the meeting
Put the next steps in writing
A short written record helps everyone work from the same understanding.
- Summarise the main needs discussed and support agreed.
- Record who is responsible and when support will start.
- Confirm the review date and how you will share information.
- Ask school to correct anything you have misunderstood.
Keep communication balanced
Share progress as well as difficulties. At review, ask whether support happened as planned, what changed for your child and what needs adapting.
Understand SEN support plans →If you are not being heard
Ask for a clear response and next steps
Request a meeting with the SENCO, provide specific examples and ask for the support plan to be reviewed. Explain what remains unresolved and what response you are seeking.
If concerns continue, ask about the school’s published complaints procedure and seek independent advice. In England, your local SEND Information, Advice and Support Service (SENDIASS) can offer free information and advice.
When support is not working
Review the needs, what has actually been delivered and its effect.
Explore next steps →Discussing an EHCP
Ask whether more detailed assessment and provision may be needed. A diagnosis does not automatically lead to an EHCP. Parents can also request an EHC needs assessment directly from their local authority.
Autism and EHCP guidance →Common questions
Feeling more confident about the conversation
Can I speak to school before an autism diagnosis?
Yes. Explain your child’s current difficulties and ask what support can be put in place and reviewed while any assessment is being considered or awaited.
What if I find meetings overwhelming?
Send your main points beforehand, take written notes and ask for a clear agenda. You can ask whether a trusted person can attend with you and request any adjustments you need.
What if school says my child is fine?
Share specific examples and ask about different parts of the day. Explore what school support may already be helping and agree how concerns will be monitored.
What if school says support must wait for diagnosis?
Ask for that position to be explained in writing and request a SENCO discussion about current needs. A confirmed diagnosis is not required for SEN support.
What if we disagree about the next step?
Identify the point of disagreement and ask what evidence would help resolve it. Request a written response and seek independent advice if concerns remain unresolved.
Further information: GOV.UK SEN support guidance and the SEND Code of Practice for England.
Related guidance
Understand the wider picture
School of Diversity
Need help preparing for a school meeting?
Tell us what is happening for your child and what you want the meeting to address. We can discuss relevant support options.